Dear My Parents,
I want to thank you for leaving some leftover hamburgers for me in the fridge for when I get home. I want to thank you for having both ketchup and mustard in the fridge. I'm not accustomed to such a high level of culinary organization. They were a delight to eat, even though I couldn't get them to heat evenly in the microwave. Your microwave smells like popcorn.
Dad, thanks for not laughing too hard when I explained that I intend to spend the next year wallowing in despair and rejection. Yes, it does sound better than wallowing in mud, you're right. Thanks for taping nearly every show I watch on the satellite receiver too. You're really in to that thing. That's pretty cool.
Mom, I'm sorry (I promise this won't involve masturbation or Jesus) you were embarrassed at the computer shop when the technician got upset that your copy of Windows is pirated. I'm sorry you don't know how to keep viruses off your computer. I like your new laptop, by the way. It's much nicer than my desktop. It's too bad you're going to kill it very soon. I give it a fortnight. Fortnights are awesome.
Anyway, I look forward to spending a very eventful weekend with each of you. Hopefully the Internet doesn't fail and there's always something to watch on TV. Please don't forget to feed me.
With love,
Dad, thanks for not laughing too hard when I explained that I intend to spend the next year wallowing in despair and rejection. Yes, it does sound better than wallowing in mud, you're right. Thanks for taping nearly every show I watch on the satellite receiver too. You're really in to that thing. That's pretty cool.
Mom, I'm sorry (I promise this won't involve masturbation or Jesus) you were embarrassed at the computer shop when the technician got upset that your copy of Windows is pirated. I'm sorry you don't know how to keep viruses off your computer. I like your new laptop, by the way. It's much nicer than my desktop. It's too bad you're going to kill it very soon. I give it a fortnight. Fortnights are awesome.
Anyway, I look forward to spending a very eventful weekend with each of you. Hopefully the Internet doesn't fail and there's always something to watch on TV. Please don't forget to feed me.
With love,
Corwin
posted by Corwin | 11:39 PM
1 Correspondances:
Corwin, you're wonderful. If you were my son, I'd let you wallow in the mud all you like.
And the computer technician should look upon his own sins before judging Windows piracy to be wrong or commenting on Jesus masturbation.
Post a Comment
<< Home