Dear Dave,

Thank you for inviting me to contribute to Dear Everything after I copied your format on my own blog.


Yours in homage,

Carly

Dear Corwin and Greg,

Corwin: I need your help manipulating Liki.

Greg: You foolish fool, you've ruined my Statcounter graph by linking one of your posts from ask.metafilter.com. Now all I can see when I look at my stats is how you got 300 people to read your post and I'll never even get more than 50 people to read mine.

Angstfully awaiting your reply,

Dave

Dear mysterious newspaper thief,

I pay for a daily newspaper subscription because I wish to read my newspaper each day. If you must 'borrow'’ my paper for some reason, please leave a note saying so and then return it when you are finished.

When my paper goes 'missing' because someone borrowed and did not return it, and I report it so as to recieve a refund, the delivery person is unfairly blamed, may be disciplined and eventually even fired. In effect, you're stealing both my newspaper and someone's job security.

That'’s not fair!

Perhaps we could arrange to share both the cost and the benefit of my subscription?

In frustration,

Greg

Dear Corwin,

Where the fuck is wikipedia?

With wikilove,

Dave